- using your body to cover up the suns rays from hitting your child's body
- holding down your child with every ounce of your might to change their diaper or put on diaper rash cream as they scream so loud a passerby think they are a victim of child abuse
- using your bare hands to gather the snot dripping from their nose when it's running
- using your coat as a blanket, even if they swaddled already (no matter how cold it is)
- being subjected to the times they look at you leave the house and not seem to care
- being subjected to entering the house and having them look at you like they don't know who you are
- being subjected to fits of hysterics when you leave the house
- being subjected to them running into your arms after you've been gone all day
- having to witness the ratio of dad kisses to your kisses (100:1)
- being the one they run to first to console them when they're having a rough day
- cringing as they run down the sidewalk, close a door or play with the dog, knowing that one wrong move could cause them an injury, yet knowing that interfering would delay their independence
- having a near heart attack when they fall off the couch, or bump into a table end all the while trying not to respond and assess how bad the situation is
- seriously thinking about punching another 2 year old because they cut your child off on the slide
- seriously thinking about punching another person for giving unwanted and usually bogus parenting advice
- sampling your child's food to make sure it's not too hot or too cold, but just right
- sampling your child's food to see why on earth they are not eating it
- sampling your child's food to see what's so delicious about it that they can't come up for air
- eating the rest of your child's food so it won't go to waste when they don't want any more
- still checking several times a night that they are still breathing
- staying in the park for a much longer period of time than expected because they just don't want to go
- complaining till the cows come home that you have no money, yet buy them everything they could possibly want
- surrendering the living room, kitchen, basement and office room as extra areas to put your child's toys
- sacrificing any decent music in the car so your child can listen to their own CD (thank god for Rockabye Baby CDs like Aerosmith and Queen)
- sacrificing a cheerio-free car
- enrolling in a CPR class so you know what to do in case of a choking emergency
- crying when you sing a lullaby as the thought passes through your brain that one day he'll be too big to sit on your lap and listen to you sing
- putting your child to bed 15 minutes early because you just can't take it anymore
- wanting to wake up your child after they are sleeping just so you can play with them
- being totally heartbroken to see them cry or have a temper tantrum, but thinking it's totally adorable at the same time
- wanting to scream at passing buses, cars beeping their horn, loud music, or people talking really loud: "shut-up!!! Don't you know its my child's nap time?!?!"
- having every single doubt, fear or inner pain melt away with a single glance, smile or laugh
- loving someone completely and utterly unconditionally every moment of every day, no matter what
